What to Let Go Of and What to Keep

Thanks to a friend of mine for mentioning it, I've been Praying the Hours (well, attempting to anyway - I am able to focus on 6am and 9am but once I get to 12pm it can be hard to remain disciplined).The book Seven Sacred Pauses has been a wonderful guide along the way.

At 3pm, I focused on this prayer:

O Ancient Love...  In the evening of our lives send calming angels to shelter us and take away our fears. Lead us to "the Old One," who lovingly waits for us to embrace our deepest and truest selves. Teach us to die before we die so that our final death will be a great healing, drawing us into deeper life. Show us the face of surrender that we may know at the end of each day what to let go of and what to keep. O Soft Light of the Waning Sun, teach us the beautiful art of dying. Fill us with your own wisdom.

And now I find myself...

...letting go of my frustrations at living in such a cool climate (don't laugh - that's a real one for me) and I'm keeping the memory of watching from my living room window the sun setting into the ocean.

...letting go of my tiredness from a nearly sleepless night (a total of three bodies in a twin bed makes sleeping nearly impossible) and keeping close to my heart the perfectly right moment of two warm babies curled up around their mama's body - safe, trusting, and full of peace.

...letting go of all those little annoyances and keeping the spirit of joy, in all things.

I end my mid-afternoon prayers of transition and move on to the evening prayers of serenity.  Gratefully, I let go of all that hinders me and move forward with hope and peace and life.

The Sun is Out, Let's Adventure

The sun was too shiny for us to stay inside this morning...  

So, the girls and I rode the bus around town until it dropped us off a few blocks from the library.  

First stop was the library to pick up a book, made some lovely discoveries (yellow flower, rocks, roly poly bugs and a discarded pair of roller blades), ran into Oma (Maya's grandma), had a chat and then ate breakfast at a new joint in town.  

 Nearly missed the bus home, had a few minor meltdowns (not me, the girls), but made it home in time for naps.  

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open. - Jawaharlal Nehru

Spring is arriving...

• Putting my hope in this brilliant life journey.  Not caring where I end up - just enjoying the forward movement.
• Listening to Patty Griffin's All Creatures of our God and King.
• Smiling at Kaia's latest antics - wearing her most complicated shoes to bed. Which makes changing a pull-up diaper at 4am rather difficult - unbuckle difficult shoe straps, remove pj's and diaper, put new diaper on, pj's back on, shoes back on (who cares if they end up on the wrong feet), and buckle back up.  All while dealing with my "just-woke-up-clumsiness" trying not to fall over and completely wake up Kaia or Elliot.  Mercy.
• Learning to pray like the ancient King David - with total reverence and complete honesty.
• Grateful for Mike's encouragement in everything I tackle (including the furniture renovation projects stacking up in the garage).
• Thinking about my carrots and peas and garlic that are all beginning to sprout.  Those little wisps of green coming from a tiny speck of seed - miraculous. beautiful. completely inspiring.

just a little note...

i miss writing.
but i've been busy.

staying active when the sun is away (going on two weeks now).
trying to make my girls laugh (it's easier than being grumpy).
thankful for mike (he's a busy, busy guy but still has time for the girls at the end of the day - wow).
traveling here and there (renton, scapoose, modesto...).
placing creative on hold for awhile while i try to figure out how to do it ALL (whoa, that's a tough one).
marveling in how amazing it feels to have friends that really like me (such a great thing).

so.
that's about it in a nutshell.
i'll be around here and there.
see you around... 
hopefully sooner rather than later.

Found: Just Encourage Me

Advice I can stand to hear on a regular basis.  Not only in relation to my partner, but for my interaction with all of the God-loved people I meet. So not easy and so easy to forget.

Read it, do it, and then pass it on to someone else.

Speak Less...

I start most of my days looking for a little bit of truth to carry through my day.  I found it here and am scribbling a note to myself to follow these incredible instructions: Speak Less, Pray More.

Kaia can't seem to hear me - like, for reals.  Either she's going deaf (good thing we've got the sign language down, right?) or her head cold has really plugged up her ears.  We are off to the doctor today to get her verdict.

In the meantime, since Kaia can't hear me anyway, I'm going to stop talking louder and louder at her and maybe just pause and pray instead.  What a beautiful alternative.  A little meditative silence to calm us.  We could all use a little of that around here.

Is it really only Thursday?

Haven't been here much lately. I've been spending most of my moments learning how to love these two best. Two different personalities, two different ways of pushing the limits, two different ways of understanding my love.

I'm wiped. But I'm loving it (well most of it anyway).